Give me stuff

As I mentioned earlier. I am getting married. Not today, but soon. In October. Granted, it's my wedding as much as hers, but how much work does the groom actually do? History tells us, not much. So far be it for me to screw with history, I abstain from much of the wedding planning. Not because I don't want to. It's just that we, as guys don't grow up dreaming of what our wedding gown will look like or what color the flowers will be and blah blah blah blah blah. Here's what guy's grow up thinking...Man dresses in black, girl dresses in white, you stand, you talk, you kiss, you're married. Done. That's a wedding in a nutshell, albeit a very small nutshell, like a pine nut or something. But before all that happens, there's another thing called the wedding registry. For those of you unfamiliar with this concept, it's a rather fabulous idea. Basically what a registry allows you to do is tell people what to give you. The point of the registry to hopefully avoid getting crappy gifts like a salad spinner. But even if you want a salad spinner, you certainly don't want 15 of them. A registry also helps avoid multiple people buying you the same damn thing. With the rise of the technological revolution (i.e. the internet) people can view your registry online and see which items you have "asked" for and which ones (the cheapest) have already been purchased. One of my least favorite things is to ask for gifts when it's Christmas time or when my birthday is approaching. I don't really care what people give me if they give me anything at all. I will always make every attempt to sincerely appreciate every gift and I almost always do. But ask me to tell you what I want. I usually can't think of much that I truly want. That being said. The wedding registry is a whole different story. This is the time when that greedy little bastard in all of us comes out. Why? Because the registry is for BOTH of you. And while everyone will know that it was me personally who registered for the KitchenAid 9-piece cookware set in 5-layered stainless steel. Or the nearly $1000.00 in Shun knives. The 500 pound cast iron Emile Henry Dutch Oven.These gifts are for the BOTH of us. We're GETTING MARRIED DAMMIT AND WE NEED THINGS! Sure, she doesn't cook anything more than hotdogs (on occasion) or a bowl of cold cereal. These gifts are for US. Hooray for the registry. I'm doing this for US!